Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close

Nine-year-old Oskar Schell has embarked on an urgent, secret mission that will take him through the five boroughs of New York. His goal is to find the lock that matches a mysterious key that belonged to his father, who died in the World Trade Center on the morning of September 11. This seemingly impossible task will bring Oskar into contact with survivors of all sorts on an exhilarating, affecting, often hilarious, and ultimately healing journey.

I’ve tweeted about this book few months back that seems like yesterday but it wasn’t yesterday haha!

I have to be honest I didn’t finish the book. I started reading it on Sep and I left it unread. And so… Now that I have so much time in my hands because it’s holidays (2 months!) I gotta go read and finish this incredibly inspiring book! I find it bizarre (sort of). It’s funny. But thinking it though, the whole book—crazy, so original.

There’s just so many things running through my head now and I thought about what the book says especially a quote that has got me was: “There’s nothing wrong with not understanding yourself,” *shakes head, slightly* isn’t it weird to feel like you don’t understand yourself at the same time you KNOW yourself?? is it possible that sometimes we don’t understand ourselves? Then you ask yourself, “yeah, why? Why?” the brain starts to think enough to find the answers, it can be through experiences, etc.

ANSWER: I can say that, it is ok not to understand.
Because truly, i don’t understand myself sometimes. However, I don’t want to give up trying to find what I don’t understand, I want to dig deep and find what it is. It’s really hard to search what you’re looking for—maybe if you know what it is truly, then maybe…yeah, you can.

Probably Oskar Schell may think the same way. Not to stop finding what it is. How. Why. All these questions shouldn’t be missing in our daily lives.

I have to say Oskar Schell gets inside my head and right now I saw this library loan receipt that has got the name of who borrowed it and the books he borrowed, and well… I said, “why do some people slip these loan receipts in between the pages of the book. Don’t they need it? Or do they want people to know who they are maybe? Or do they simply forgot about the loan receipt is even between the pages?

Crazy, right. Now I sound like Oskar Schell. Thanks to this book! It’s so wonderful!!

“Even if I don’t like what I am, I know what I am. My children like what they are, but they don’t know what they are. So tell me which is worse.”

I don’t like what I am—some part of me I haven’t really like still but I know what I am and that good? I say, yes!

This quote from the book has somewhat struck me and it rang the bell. “It’s that at the end of my search I wanted to be able to say: I don’t know how I could have tried harder.” by now I should be finishing this book but because of youth camp it pretty delayed me to finish it but all is well and I’m so grateful that I had attended the camp. The quote just felt right to me because no matter how hard i try while I was at camp to really come out of my comfort zone instead i want things to just take it slowly start from baby steps and continue it.

Till now I find it hard to deliver or share my thoughts to people. Afraid to speak up… It’s difficult. I want to try everyday to be myself, set aside the fears that makes the barriers that makes things difficult for me to do and these barriers i have is too hard to break.

*takes a deep breath* I always want to try. Try, try. Until I do not know what is “try” and the word “do” comes in. That’s what I want.

There are some points that I had to rack my brain for understanding what it says and made me think of what it may define. I had it slowly read the book and I truly like it in someway or another. Some were ridiculous like it’s just written for the sake of writing it—quite of a nonsense actually haha! Well, sometimes not making sense still make sense. And I relate to that and it’s different.

I may have no favorite character but I kinda like Dr Fein because of what he told Oskar that I did could relate,

“… I end up crying a lot usually in private. … I also can’t sleep over at friend’s apartments because I get panicky about being away from mom I’m not very good with people.”

“I feel too much.”

“My insides don’t match up with my outsides.”

“I don’t know. I’m only me.”

I’m not really sure those are really Dr Fein’s sayings. Anyway, another that I like is from Oskar

“I promised myself that I wouldn’t be the first to look away. But, as usual, I was.”

I really like the part of when Mr Black and Oskar were at observatory deck of the Empire State Building aka (in the book) Empty State Building hahah!! “Lovers who kiss up here may find their lips crackling with electric sparks.” I have to admit—it’s sort of a wonderful book at the same time my brain seems to just wander and think of what it really means. The ending… Well. The expectations that I was looking for was not in it. I was hoping for a superb ending but it was fine. 3.5 stars. Approximately 4 stars. Strangely familiar to a book but not at all. Really strange, bizarre (kind of), beautiful. Go read it if you have enough time to. You might ask yourself deep question you never have thought of yourself.

What I tell myself inspired by the book: Sometimes the key you’re looking for is with the person you won’t be able to find, ever. Unless the person who has got the key is looking for the owner himself.

“It’s that at the end of my search I wanted to be able to say: I don’t know how I could have tried harder.”